To the teacher who impacted my high school career the most,
Thank you so much for acknowledging my writing in 9th grade even though I know I’m not that great of a writer, but for someone as incredibly knowledgeable as you to tell me otherwise, I had to trust your opinion and believe that I was good enough to keep going. You were stern at times, but that’s how I learned the best. Without all your encouraging words, I wouldn’t have found writing as my escape. I wouldn’t have survived high school without expressing myself through written words, and I owe that all to you. You’re not only a great teacher but also a remarkable and strong person. I wish I visited you at the hospital two years ago to tell you how thankful I am for everything you taught me. You not only impacted my education but also the way I viewed myself. I didn’t think I was good at anything in high school until you gave me endless encouragement about my essays and fictional stories. Thank you for leading me to my escape. My prayers go to your family, especially your incredibly young daughter who I’m sure will grow up to be a great woman like you.
P.S. That ghost story I wrote four years ago that you admired so much wasn’t real. Sorry!
Rest in paradise.
“Every girl is expected to have Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama and doll tits. This is why everyone is struggling.”
— Tina Fey
It’s sad how a girl can feel so easily deprecated knowing that she barely has any of these features. It’s incredibly rare nowadays to find someone who thinks that brown eyes, small lips, a wide nose, dark skin, or non-hourglass figures are attractive because of this distorted perception of beauty. I typically appreciate what I have, but there are days when obnoxious, demeaning people like my brother constantly point out every physical flaw I have, therefore making me think that I should reconstruct my face. I just don’t understand why anyone would have the audacity to verbalize something so insensitive concerning a matter that you can’t do anything about. I don’t care if it’s an insult about my personality, thinking, or interests because those are things I can gradually change if I wanted to, but when it comes to appearance, it haunts me for eternity and I don’t think I can ever fully love myself. At one point, I imagined a scenario where I would get into a terrible accident in which surgical procedures would be required to fix certain parts of my face… then I realized how absolutely ridiculous that mindset was because screw whatever society thinks is beautiful. Screw what my brother says about my “ugly” massive beak. Screw my weak mentality for letting it get to me in the first place… because odds are most people don’t even notice it. It’s a difficult process to learn, but loving what you have by gradually disregarding insignificant insecurities is one step closer to happiness. I need to constantly remind myself that I’d rather have a unique, undesirable feature than look like one of society’s “beautiful” clones. So ladies (and gents), find your strength and forget about the horrible people who shatter your self-esteem. Some decent people out there or even a special someone will think that everything you hate about yourself is beautiful, and whoever they are, please believe what they say.